I’m delighted to announce that this year, for the first time ever, I took the time to watch all ten Best Picture nominees in this awards season! Was it exhausting? Yep! Did I enjoy all of these movies? Absolutely not! There are some major flops and some major wins here, and I’m fascinated by the (how do I word this politely?) wide range of quality displayed in this category.
Here are the Best Picture nominees ranked from worst to best:
Avatar: The Way of Water
Directed by James Cameron
Nominated for 4 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Sound, Best Production Design, and Best Visual Effects
In theaters now
I probably would have eaten this up in 2009, the same year that the first Avatar was released, but it is 2023 and I am an adult with critical thinking skills now. This movie is one third action scenes, one third water, and one third suburban family drama. Seriously. There are so many lines like “Be nice to your brother!” and “Look after your sister!” and Jake Sully’s incredibly domestic family of seven is truly always arguing.
The visuals aren’t as impressive as they’re hyped up to be, and the film is almost plotless. Basically, the Bad Humans from the first movie come back to life and try to destroy the Na’vi people, and before you know it, the credits are rolling and it’s been over three hours and you have to pee and you start coming to terms with the sinking feeling that there are three entire movies left in this series and we will never escape the clutches of James Cameron’s obsession with a franchise that I assumed no one cares about but apparently I’m wrong because Avatar: The Way of Water is now the third highest-grossing film of all time. Yep, this is the world we live in!
Here’s the thing. This movie took three years to shoot. That is deeply abnormal! If a filmmaking team puts that much effort into a project, I’m going to assume that the final project is at least a little bit impressive. Unfortunately, I think one million percent of this team’s effort was put into visual effects and training Kate Winslet to hold her breath underwater for 7 minutes, which means that the screenplay was completely neglected and ultimately features some of the weakest dialogue I’ve ever seen in a major blockbuster. Next!
Elvis
Directed by Baz Luhrmann
Nominated for 8 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Sound, Best Production Design, Best Cinematography, Best Makeup and Hairstyling, Best Costume Design, and Best Film Editing
Streaming on HBO Max
Elvis focuses largely on Elvis’s relationship with his manager Colonel Tom Parker and that’s why this film is not as good as it can be. Tom Parker is one of the most insufferable characters in cinematic history (shoutout to his now infamous “He’s white” scene), whereas Elvis himself is very interesting! The balance is completely off. I had a lot of fun with Austin Butler’s performance; he did a little bit too much, but you all know I love commitment to a bit. I just can’t believe Austin Butler method acted so hard that to this day, he still talks like Elvis! And the movie isn’t even good!
Top Gun: Maverick
Directed by Joseph Kosinski
Nominated for 6 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Original Song, Best Sound, Best Film Editing, and Best Visual Effects
Streaming on Paramount+
This film is difficult for me to rank, because I do think it’s well-made and I found it surprisingly riveting. But whenever I took a second to dwell on the characters bragging about their kill counts or on how this movie uplifts the military industrial complex at large, I was like, “Huh. This is pretty bleak, actually.” Enjoyable movie, but I simultaneously disagree with the fact that it exists, I guess. Tom Cruise did a good job, but he’s a major distraction because I am never not thinking about the fact that he’s a Scientologist, and then before I know it I’ve missed five minutes of movie dialogue. Sorry to this man.
All Quiet on the Western Front
Directed by Edward Berger
Nominated for 9 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best International Feature Film, Best Original Score, Best Sound, Best Production Design, Best Cinematography, Best Makeup and Hairstyling, and Best Visual Effects
Streaming on Netflix
Centering on World War I, All Quiet on the Western Front lingers on horrifying images of violence without flinching and does not seem to care if the viewer (in this case, me) is covering their eyes or physically looking away. The protagonist’s thousand-yard stare (pictured above) worsens over time as he experiences unbearable trauma after trauma. By the end of the movie, a viewer may be left wondering what the point was, and it turns out that that in itself is the point, because the film is about the futility of war.
I recognize that this is a good movie; I’m just not a war movie person and never have been. I found out later that this is based on a 1929 novel in which alienation is a much stronger theme; the protagonist comes home from war and feels completely isolated, mentally and emotionally. In Edward Berger’s film adaptation, this section does not exist. Regarding the 2022 film, Jamelle Bouie of The New York Times says, “The exclusion of Paul's return home transforms All Quiet on the Western Front from a psychological examination of the soldier's experience and a condemnation of war into a much simpler story of virtuous soldiers and cynical leaders who betrayed them.” Now that I know what Berger left out, I want a redo! Alternatively, I’ll just read the book.
Triangle of Sadness
Directed by Ruben Östlund
Nominated for 3 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original Screenplay
Streaming on Hulu
I knew only two things about Triangle of Sadness before I watched it: 1) much like 2022’s Glass Onion and The Menu, this is an “Eat the Rich” movie, and 2) there’s a lot of puke. I can confirm that that’s pretty much all you need to know. The amount of vomit in this movie is borderline intolerable, and I’m surprised that so many people are just like, “Yeah, the puke scenes are great! I laughed so hard! My entire theater was laughing!” Okay, but consider this… I don’t want to see 20 minutes worth of puke in a movie. I just don’t!
Anyway, the film is very much a satire but it’s unfortunately not for me. The first half of the movie reminded me so much of Below Deck (a Bravo reality show centering on crew members of luxury yachts) that I began to wish I was watching that show instead. The second half of the movie reminded me of Survivor for reasons that I can’t describe because, y’know, spoilers. The conclusion I’ve come to is that I’d like my friends to prioritize watching Below Deck and Survivor over this movie, because both of those shows 1) are good and 2) miraculously feature way less bodily fluids than Triangle of Sadness.
TÁR
Directed by Todd Field
Nominated for 6 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Original Screenplay, Best Cinematography, and Best Film Editing
Streaming on Peacock
What’s hilarious about my relationship with TÁR is that I watched it only a few days after receiving a job offer to work at a symphony. I took myself out on a movie date, thinking that this would be a fun and educational way for me to celebrate this new step in my career. Turns out this movie is not necessarily fun, because protagonist Lydia Tár, played by Cate Blanchett, is not only a controversial, pretentious conductor but also a predator! Yikes! Not the best introduction to the classical music world that I could’ve had, but thankfully my job thus far has been very normal and Lydia Tár is fictional.
This film is billed as a psychological drama, and if anything, I wished it had been more psychological. The best parts of the movie happen whenever Lydia Tár loses her mind a little bit and I wanted more of that. Cate Blanchett does do a solid job, but if I had Academy voting privileges, I would not choose her as my Best Actress winner.
The Banshees of Inisherin
Directed by Martin McDonagh
Nominated for 8 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Original Screenplay, Best Film Editing, and Best Original Score
Streaming on HBO Max
Okay, we’ve finally arrived: these are four of my favorite movies of 2022, starting with The Banshees of Inisherin. What an unhinged film. What an unexpectedly moving story! I’ve been out here for ages begging for more media about friend breakups, so watching this absolutely delighted me. When I watched Banshees three months ago I thought it was solid, but as time has gone by, I find myself liking it more. The screenplay is witty and much funnier than I imagined it could be. Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson fully convinced me that their friendship was on the rocks, and Kerry Condon completely surprised me; hers might be my favorite performance of the movie. I’m so glad that all three of them are nominated for acting Oscars this season, though I’m not sure if any of them will win.
The Fabelmans
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Nominated for 7 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Original Screenplay, Best Original Score, and Best Production Design
Available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime, YouTube, Google Play, and other VOD platforms
Steven Spielberg has been imagining making this semi-autobiographical movie for a long time, and it took a long time for him to finally gather the courage to do it. This cast is absolutely stacked (I almost shouted out loud in the theater, “SETH ROGEN?”) but my favorite performer is the relatively unknown Gabriel LaBelle, who plays teenage Spielberg—I mean, uhhh, Sammy Fabelman. His character has an all-consuming love of filmmaking, and he has trouble balancing that passion with the needs of his slowly unraveling family.
The Fabelmans is pretty much the textbook definition of Oscar bait. It’s made by a known auteur, it’s deeply melodramatic, a lot of the dialogue is kinda stilted. This movie is corny as hell, but at the end of the day, I simply can’t resist a movie about movies. Thank you, Spielberg, for unpacking your childhood baggage for the sake of my entertainment!
Women Talking
Directed by Sarah Polley
Nominated for 2 Academy Awards: Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay
Streaming free on Amazon Prime until 9pm Pacific Time on Sunday, March 12
Women Talking is a film about assault that does not once show assault on screen. That in itself is revolutionary. Many creators in film and TV seem to think that in order to depict violence of any kind, it must be shown, and I strongly disagree, especially when it comes to sexual violence. I’m grateful to Sarah Polley for crafting a movie that makes me feel safe and understood in that way.
Everybody in this cast is acting their asses off, and at times the film definitely feels like a play (it’s very talk-y, as one would expect from the title) but I’m fine with that! The dialogue is so smart, the story kept me on my toes, and I had a big ol’ cry at the end. Loved it. Two Oscar nominations aren’t enough for this movie.
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert
Nominated for 11 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress (twice), Best Original Screenplay, Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, and Best Film Editing
Streaming on Showtime
I mean, we all knew this would be number one. Who do you think I am? I honestly have nothing new or unique to say about EEAAO these days, so here are some excerpts from my Letterboxd reviews:
April 7, 2022: “An absolute game changer of a film. Every single star of this movie is my new favorite actor. Nothing I say can adequately prepare you for this.”
April 23, 2022: “I still can't believe that this movie exists and that I can watch it every time I need a reminder that cynicism and anger do not hold the keys to my survival. If I could deliver that message to my younger self, I would in a heartbeat.”
I’ll end this newsletter with a quote from my most recent review in February. I’ll be in your inbox again tomorrow for my official Oscar predictions - see you then!
February 4, 2023: “I understand the urge to truly believe that maybe nothing matters, that maybe everything is shit. EEAAO is always the most beautiful yet most sobering reminder that we have to be better. We have to believe that our world is worth fighting for. It’s a simple enough message, delivered in the loudest way possible. The title of ‘Best Picture’ would be an entire understatement.”
Georgie continuing to be #real